Last night I couldn't sleep. I've been house/cat sitting for my Mum and Matt while the're away. I don't like being on my own but usually I can just push my fears down and deal. But not last night. Every little noise had me on edge and I couldn't relax or calm myself down enough to even consider sleeping. In the end I ended up catching up on Once Upon A Time (I was 4 episodes behind) And then all of a sudden I looked out the window and it was light out. My mind was easily put to ease and I felt like I could sleep if I wanted to. Then I got annoyed at myself. I'm 22 years old for goodness sake and I'm still afraid of the dark. I still have to sleep with a night light and I think that when I walk up the stairs in the dark someone will grab my ankles. I cant look in the mirror in the bathroom because I'm scared someone will be stood behind me and the same goes for dark, reflected windows. I don't know why I still think all this stuff, surely I would of grown out of it by now?! Maybe its my over active imagination or maybe I haven't grown up as much as I thought I had and I'm actually still just a big kid? Either way I have to get over my irrational fears because it's these things that will stop me from achieving my dreams and doing what I've always wanted to do.
So to take my mind off my silly-ness, instead of going to bed I grabbed my camera and went and sat in the garden. It was 6am and that time of morning where its just on the chilly side but the cold is refreshing so you don't need a jumper. The air was crisp and fresh and the air smell's of sunshine and dew. The birds were just waking up and stretching their wings and I could hear a rooster in near by garden announcing the new day. It was so peaceful to sit on the grass and just hear the sounds of the world waking up, the earth was so still and calm and I felt so privileged to be part of it. It made me want to go an adventure and do that every morning, just lie in a field or sit on a mountain and just watch as the world around me comes to life.
I think that we forget that something so simple as the call of a bird or the sounds of running water can be so beautiful and precious. We spend so much time 'plugged in' that we can miss the beauty of everyday life. I know that I am so conscious of the time I spend on my laptop, yet I spend hour upon hour doing this and that and having nothing of significance to show for it. The real world is better than anything I can look up online and the sounds of nature are better than any music I can find on my I-Pod. I'm not saying that technology is bad or anything, but I think that its important to put those things aside every so often and remember that we live in a beautiful beautiful world, and if were not careful we will miss it.
I don't really know the purpose of this post, maybe I was just feeling all philosophical after becoming 'one with nature' but one things for sure, I'm going to try my hardest to spend more time actaully out in the world weather it's just going for a walk in the park, going camping for the weekend, or gardening and making my own immediate world a little more inviting.